Attractive Opposites

by Matt Janzen on January 14, 2013

When I was a young teen, I was struggling with an issue very deep inside me. I too often would flip a switch and lose reasonable sense of dealing with anger. I remember there was an occasion where I retaliated against another boy my age. It was like a slow-motion movie. It was an out-of-body experience, where I was observing and doing at the same time. On one hand (or fist), it felt good to release my anger and get him back for his disrespect to me. On the other hand, I felt confused about my capacity to become indifferent during a physical altercation.

This confusion, made me start thinking a lot about how to go to a better place. How could I control this thing that felt good but that I knew wasn’t a good thing for me to exist in? I had to find an attractive aspect to this intensity living within me.

At this same time in my life, I finally found a way to get a horse. I had wanted a horse for as long as I had a memory of wanting anything. A horse to me was a high priority of life. Horses entered my thoughts on a very regular basis.

I feel like all of us are given a specific “thing” that we have to identify… that one passion that gives us better objective focus. A specific gift from God to help us find better. It becomes our refuge, even if just in our thoughts. Luckily, I had a family member who also had the passion of horses. He became a huge influence on me in positive ways. He was also a teacher and an artist; I had always been doing artwork. He became someone that gave me a more removed, future perspective to focus on in my moments of stress as a young teen.

I started focusing my intense and troublesome energy into horses. They were exactly what I needed. To find a connection with horses, a human has to see the herd/prey perspective more. The horse is the finest example of self-preservation, in my opinion. Horses became an insight to my own self-preservation also. The human must see a horse from their perspective, the herd/prey instinct that goes to flight if possible or fight (fear aggression) if necessary. I had to find compassion, empathy, hope, faith and all of these came from my love of these animals. Once I started walking a path of these love dynamics, my whole world became a new and better experience.

How can we see how to help others find the one thing that will help steer them to a better existence?

I want to help others see how the most troubling issues are simply a statement of confusion. If we can influence and endear, by helping to see through the confused focus and often extreme physical expression. We can become a catalyst of redirection into more positive perspective. Some people need music, some need art and others need a simple task they can successfully achieve. There aren’t any short-cuts to finding this perspective, when we see how efficient this focus works it takes much less time though. Most individuals that are “troubled”, WANT that help in focus but we have to see their perspective more than our own to see HOW to help THEM. It is their issue to resolve so if we sincerely want to help, we have to seek helping it from their confused focus more than one that is formulated or standardized by others that aren’t struggling.

Helping someone simply helps them. It isn’t serving oneself…it is serving another. It is willingly benevolent and caring for them on their plane of existence which can speak volumes of healthy dynamics. Sometimes it takes a harder and more “aggressive” approach. Sometimes it takes a more passive calming approach.

Attract your own focus from the opposite…see it from their perspective and then explore the how.

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